Wisdom from Annie – Give life a second chance

Annie G lives at Peachtree Village Retirement Community in Roswell New Mexico and is our guest author today.

Annie teaches us that hearts can bloom suddenly bigger, and that love can open like a flower out of even the hardest places.  Annie is a beautiful woman who has experienced trials, struggles, loss and has found her way out of the depths.  It’s about overcoming obstacles; that’s the key to happiness.

Giving Life A Second Chance: Believing In Yourself And The Power Of Love – Annie G.

I often think about how I got to where I am today and how somehow everything that has happened, big or small in my lifetime has made me a better, happier, wiser and stronger person.

Now, this is coming from someone who’s lost a parent, struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts among a boatload full of other things. If you have ever heard the saying, “you can learn and grow from every experience,” I want you to know that this is indeed true.

When I look back to some of the hardest moments of my life, I can tell you that honestly each of these experiences has taught me some of the most important things you’ll ever learn:

  • Love can heal.
  • There are good people out there if you allow them in.
  • Memories of loved ones live on forever.
  • You cannot love anyone until you love yourself.
  • You alone are good enough.
  • Words can kill.
  • Friendship is sometimes bitter sweet.
  • You cannot please everyone.
  • And most of all, never settle or give up because life is a journey full of roadblocks and failures but the best comes when you refuse to let one closed door break you down and acknowledge that there is a purpose for everything.

When people ask my age, I say, “I’m 14 turning 15 in September!”

Whenever I tell people my story, they often ask me “Why are you so resilient? How can you be so strong?  What makes you so positive?” I usually laugh or smile in response. The truth is sometimes you don’t have a choice.

When you fall into really bad situations, you cannot waste a second feeling sorry for yourself. You have to survive, build a wall around yourself and push on.

Whenever people ask me, “How did you get through losing your dad at such a young age?” I always say “Sometimes you don’t get through it.” There were so many days when I couldn’t get out of bed. I was a mess always breaking down and other times I felt nothing at all. Grief spiraled me into so many different directions. Sometimes I felt like I wasn’t living, just floating around like a lifeless fish.

For me, I found peace and happiness through the kind hearts of friends, teachers, counselors and other who kept me going.

Even though I still struggle with grief and many insecurities, I find so much joy in knowing that I have a purpose. I am meant to do amazing things, not just because that’s what my dad wanted, but because I know that I am good enough.

I want anyone out there who may be at a bad point in their lives or have been through similar experiences to know that life isn’t all a dark cloud.

There is light at the end of every tunnel and sometimes the rainbow you were looking for was right in front of you all along. Never ever give up on yourself because I promise you that there are people out there who care.

You are meant to be who you are. So never give up on your dreams or your goals.

Picture this – all of the hard stuff you’ve gone through is not what powers the stove. They are rather minor parts of the elements on the stove top that allow you to run smoothly. Their experiences do not define or dictate who you are. Never forget your past or where you came from but use them as motivation to be a better person.


Thanks to the Author:

We are grateful for the wisdom of Annie and the gift of her life-lessons.

In ancient times, the Elders carried the wisdom of the tribe. In today’s world that tribe is fractured and dispersed, as families are more transitional, and may not have elders to call upon.  The world needs the wisdom of our elders more than ever!

I have discovered a nonprofit organization named ElderWisdomCircle™ that was made possible in part through a generous grant from Google.

Jean Garboden, Director of Education & Innovation at Compass Senior Living

The Elder Wisdom Circle is an online inter-generational program pairing advice seekers with a network of seniors (“Elders”) who provide free and confidential advice on a broad range of topics.  Their mission is:

  • Provide an opportunity for all seniors to utilize their life experience and wisdom to help others.
  • Offer thoughtful and helpful advice to younger generations.
  • Elevate the value and worth of our senior community.

I encourage you to ask advice of the elders around you. If you work in senior housing, you have a lot of opportunities to learn. Or you may meet an elder at the supermarket or in your church. Most are willing to support your growth.  You may be surprised to learn that elders are still growing, and learning and evolving…just as we all are!

If you are an elder, I invite you to share your wisdom as a True North Elder in this forum as well.   You may contact me by email to submit a story.

elders painting class

#TrueNorthElderhood and #NALW

What does it mean to be a True North Elder? 

Elders are pushing boundaries and shaking things up every day. Stories are plentiful of elders that are meeting at the gym, playing on basketball teams, or earning their high school diplomas at age 92. They teach us that we as humans can always learn, grow, adapt, and overcome the changes of aging. This is a True North Elder to us. Connecting with these experienced individuals brings us a sense of joy, love, and feeling of reward that is greater than the money we may earn by caring for them. They become part of our families–not by blood, but by relationship. Maya Angelou once said:

Family isn’t always blood, its the people in your life who want you in theirs: the ones who accept you for who you are, the ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what.

Celebrating our ‘family’

This week is National Assisted Living Week® and Compass Senior Living communities are participating by celebrating this year’s theme Family is Forever. Employees, residents, and families are spending time embracing this found family and the True North Elders in our midst. Throughout the week, we’ll be sharing stories, tidbits of wisdom and photos from the events that take place each day– and the lessons that our elder families can teach us.

We invite you to join us for events in your area and follow us on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram for updates and use #TrueNorthElderhood to share your story about an elder in your life that is a True North Elder in your family–however that may be defined!

Youth and Elders transformed and connected – Music makes Memories!

Isaac, student intern:”Music is an important part of my life,. When I am feeling down, music inspires me and takes me to another place. Giving music to elders is such a small gift of kindness with a powerful impact. Every elder deserves music in their lives!”

Isaac is a sophomore in high school.  He is interested in music and science and is fascinated by the power of music and how it improves his own sense of well-being as he plays guitar or listens to his tunes.    Isaac and I and another student, Bella partnered as student interns for high school credit on a Compass Senior Living project. This was inspired by the documentary Alive Insidewhich features  Olver Sacks, a neuroscientist, studying the impact of music on the limbic brain.

The Administrator and Life Enrichment Coordinator at Sundial Assisted Living in Redding California invited us to partner with them.  They recruited Eli a young volunteer who plays guitar to work with us so that the program could continue after Isaac and Bella left.

Isaac and Bella interviewed elders and worked all evening creating the play lists and downloading them onto mp3 players.  The next day they brought the headphones and the tunes. The smiles and evoked memories continued for days.

Isaac and Billie

Amy, the Business Services Director at Sundial Assisted Living said, “Billie came into my office this morning to tell me about how amazed she is at our brains. She started thinking about all the songs she has stored in her brain and the marvel is that they are all there after all these years. She also shared how much she enjoyed interacting with Isaac. Talking about music made her start thinking about other things… like who the members of the Rat Pack were. She even got into a conversation with another resident this morning about it and he helped her remember the one she was missing. I love it that she is walking around excitedly celebrating the wonder of music and memory and that the interactions of the last couple of days have stirred in her a desire to talk and think more about how music has played a significant role in her life.”


Another Compass Senior Living community in Las Cruces New Mexico, Desert Peaks Assisted Living & Memory Care has begun the process of implementing the Music Makes Memories Program.  Life Enrichment Coordinator, Adriana Garcia prepared this 3-minute video of what they are discovering!  WATCH THIS VIDEO!

The secret key to evoking memory actually emerges in the discussions with the elders AFTER listening to their playlist.

Adriana Garcia, Life Enrichment Coordinator

“Watching the transformations in the elders was breathtaking. Having watched ‘Alive Inside,’ I was already moved by what I had seen; but having it unfold before my eyes, with residents that I spend every day with, sent shock waves of emotion through me. It’s almost as though, just briefly, they were back to their old selves again. They knew who they were, where they had been, who they have known, and it was beautiful. The son of one of our residents who saw the video we made was taken aback. He couldn’t believe that she could remember something that had taken place when he was only 2 years old. His reaction was powerful, and it was incredibly special to be able to share these moments with him. I’m so grateful for this program and very excited to continue on this journey. The next obvious step is involving the families of the residents more and giving them this gift to use at any given time. I would encourage anyone to try this with their loved ones who may be suffering from memory loss. You can’t really appreciate the impact has until you are right there with them.”  Adriana Garcia, Life Enrichment Director


To learn more about the Music Makes Memories program, contact Jean Garboden

About the Author: Jean Garboden is the Director of Education and Innovation at Compass Senior Living, located in Eugene Oregon. Jean is an Elder Advocate and Eden Alternative Educator with over 30 years’ experience in not-for-profit and for-profit health care organizations. She is honored to lead the mission and values culture development for Compass Senior Living. Jean lives in Las Vegas, Nevada where she enjoys the weather and volunteers with the Nevadans for the Common Good, advocating for caregivers and elders in southern Nevada.

 

The day of the eclipse August 21, 2017

st louis eclipse path

I was traveling to St. Louis by plane the day of the eclipse, as the path of totality began its journey across the United States.     St. Louis got literally sliced in half by the path of totality, and the airport and the Arch did not get totality.

My plane landed at 1:00 pm, and I knew totality would be at 1:18.   I ran through the airport, past baggage claim and outside where people were looking up.   It was bright and sunshiny.   I  took my eclipse glasses out of my briefcase and stood with the onlookers.  I was able to see the eclipse as the moon covered most of the sun. Several of us started sharing our eclipse glasses with one another.   Everyone was very quiet.   There were only a few seconds when the light dimmed.  A great moment!

I was headed to Illinois where we have 5 Assisted living communities in Waterloo, Columbia, Red Bud, and Millstadt.  The residents and the employees celebrated the eclipse with gusto.  A once-in-a-lifetime experience for employees, families, and our 80 and 90-year-old residents!

The path of totality started in Oregon, where our home office, Compass Senior Living is located.  While our Eugene office was not in the path of totality, one of our new construction projects, Juniper Springs Senior Living, located in Redmond Oregon was.

For the elders, families, and our employees in Oregon, California, Arizona, New Mexico, Wisconsin, and Illinois – we will always remember where we were during the 2017 United States Eclipse!

KEEP WATCHING THE VIDEO.  AT ABOUT 15 SECONDS, YOU WILL BEGIN TO SEE THE PATH OF TOTALITY OVER REDMOND, OREGON


About the Author: Jean Garboden is the Director of Education and Innovation at Compass Senior Living, located in Eugene Oregon. Jean is an Elder Advocate and Eden Alternative Educator with over 30 years’ experience in not-for-profit and for-profit health care organizations. She is honored to lead the mission and values culture development for Compass Senior Living. Jean lives in Las Vegas, Nevada where she enjoys the weather and volunteers with the Nevadans for the Common Good, advocating for caregivers and elders in southern Nevada.

 

 

Adios and thank you, Glen Campbell for teaching us to ‘Try a little kindness” 1936-2017

Glen Campbell, the upbeat guitarist from Delight, Arkansas, whose smooth vocals and down-home manner made him a mainstay of music and television for decades, has died, his family announced on Facebook on Tuesday. He was 81. In 2012 he wrote and recorded his last new song, Adios.

He inspired us in many ways and showed us in the last few years that those living with Alzheimer’s are whole, complete beings who can inspire and teach us.   Go to his Facebook page to say goodbye.  And in gratitude for his life, let’s all show a little kindness.

If you see your brother standing by the road
With a heavy load from the seeds, he’s sowed
And if you see your sister falling by the way
Just stop and say, you’re going the wrong way
You got to try a little kindness
Yes show a little kindness
Just shine your light for everyone to see
And if you try a little kindness
Then you’ll overlook the blindness
Of narrow-minded people on the narrow-minded streets”


 


About the Author: Jean Garboden is the Director of Education and Innovation at Compass Senior Living, located in Eugene Oregon. Jean is an Elder Advocate and Eden Alternative Educator with over 30 years’ experience in not-for-profit and for-profit health care organizations. She is honored to lead the mission and values culture development for Compass Senior Living. Jean lives in Las Vegas, Nevada where she enjoys the weather and volunteers with the Nevadans for the Common Good, advocating for caregivers and elders in southern Nevada.

“Every time an old person dies, a library burns to the ground.”

“If history were taught in the form of stories, it would never be forgotten.”– Rudyard Kipling

The Power to Transform

Stories have power. They delight, enchant, touch, teach, recall, inspire, motivate, and challenge. They help us understand. They imprint a picture on our minds. Our storytelling ability, a uniquely human trait, has been with us as long as we’ve been able to speak and listen. Not only do people love to tell stories, people love to hear stories!

Listen to this tiny story of Betty Meeks, who lives at Peachtree Village in Roswell New Mexico.  What a wonderful tiny story from Mrs. Meeks’ library of her lifetime! (read the transcription below the story)


Betty Meeks, storyteller

Rusty, Dusty, and the shoe

I named the story “Rusty, Dusty, and the shoe.”

Betty Meeks Tiny Stories-page-001[1]I taught first grade and one day, while the children were out playing during the lunch hour I was in my room grading papers. One of my little girls came in crying and I asked her what was wrong. She said, “Rusty and Dusty got my shoe and threw it over the fence!’

So I went out with her and I went over into the vacant lot and got her shoe, brought it back and gave it to her. I was not saying a word to the boys. They had seen me come out, so they knew that I knew what had happened.

So I let them play, and when the bell rang to come in and resume classes I brought my children in, got the rest of the class seated, and assigned them some spelling words to work on. Then I took the two little boys, which were identical twins down to the Principal’s office. They stood before the Principal’s desk, and I stood beside them and told the Principal what had happened. Then I stepped behind them because I wanted him to have their full attention.

So he said, “Did you really do that to Julie?” One little twin said, “Oh we didn’t, we didn’t,” and the other one popped in and he said, “Oh yes we did!” I was so shocked and amused that I had to clamp my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

Well, the Principal went ahead and reprimanded the children, and I think he gave them a swat. Then he said, “You boys go back to your room and sit down and get to work, I want to talk to your teacher.” And so they left, and the Principal said, “Mrs. Meeks, in the future, when you bring children down, please do not stand behind them and laugh. Couldn’t you tell how hard it was for me to keep a straight face?” I said, “Yes, I saw it.” Well, we both had a good laugh and I went back to my class.


“Every time an old person dies, a library burns to the ground.”  African Proverb

The Elders are truly ‘human libraries’  with stories ripe for harvesting! I just got back from a community in Illinois and was captivated by the tiny stories I heard.

We have a unique opportunity to harvest the wisdom, the humor, and memories we hear every day. We are in relationship with elders who have journeyed almost a full century on this planet. Through their stories, we connect with one another while giving our resident storytellers the opportunity to reconnect with what was once taken for granted. We give them the opportunity to share their memories for generations to come. And, the tiny stories can be preserved forever in digital media and libraries.

Through the simple process of capturing these adventures, challenges, and wisdom acquired on their life journey –  we create a profoundly enriching experience for both the storyteller and the recorder.


To hear more tiny stories from Elder Storytellers around the United states go to the Tiny Stories Page, and get ready to smile, and be filled with the legacies of elderhood preserved here.

If you are interested in preserving your own tiny stories, or the stories of someone you love, please contact me, and I will be happy to help you save your library of tiny stories too!


About the Author: Jean Garboden is the Director of Education and Innovation at Compass Senior Living, located in Eugene Oregon. Jean is an Elder Advocate and Eden Alternative Educator with over 30 years’ experience in not-for-profit and for-profit health care organizations. She is honored to lead the mission and values culture development for Compass Senior Living. Jean lives in Las Vegas, Nevada where she enjoys the weather and volunteers with the Nevadans for the Common Good, advocating for caregivers and elders in southern Nevada.

The Needs Behind the Disease

“If you could tell her one thing, what would it be?”, I asked. “That I love her very much”, he said, as a tear streamed down his cheek. 

I recently had the opportunity to spend time at a memory care community in Oregon. The day didn’t go as planned–at all. But, the lessons learned were far more valuable than any plan. We were able to get to know these wonderful people with a variety of different types of dementia and help them express themselves in ways they otherwise wouldn’t be able to.

One gentleman (we’ll call him Mr. Brown), was not particularly interested in joining the group for an activity. His dementia is progressed enough that he needs full-time care, but can still carry on a conversation. He has moments of lucidity and you may not otherwise know of his impairments until he is frustrated with a situation and lacks the ability to communicate his frustration except in somewhat aggressive tones or outbursts.

I sat in front of him and crouched down, so his head was just above mine and he could clearly see me. I had read through his history and talked with the staff about where he came from, his family, what he did for a living, etc. so I could step inside his perspective. Using the empathetic communication techniques I’ve learned over the years, I asked him a series of questions such as:

  • Tell me about your wife.
  • What is she like?
  • If you could tell her one thing right now, what would it be?
  • What is the best thing about her?

Through this prompting (you’ll notice I only used open-ended statements and questions), he told me about how wonderful she was and how much he loved her. Then, his deep underlying frustration began to show with the fact that he needed memory care and had to be there–when all he had worked for his entire life was to ensure they could spend the rest of their lives together.  He proceeded to repeat a few times that he never took government assistance–a point of pride. He worked tirelessly to provide for his family (which was a rather large one) and ensure they could live a long life together.

He is heartbroken. Heartbroken that they won’t have that experience because of a disease that requires them to be apart. That is frustrating. That is miserable. It is understandable that he may have outbursts when he can’t thoughtfully express that frustration.

Needs investigation

We, as humans, have needs that must be fulfilled in order to be happy. We have needs that, if not met, can manifest themselves in strange behavior–often aggressive, overtly sexual, “inappropriate” for societal norms, or resulting in damage to our overall mental and physical well-being. Abraham Maslow’s (1908-1970) most lasting contribution to the field of psychology was the study of happiness. He determined that there is a hierarchy of needs that, as each of the needs are met, allows the human psyche to reach a state of happiness or self-actualization, as he calls it.

Individuals with Alzheimer’s or similar dementias still have the need to self-actualize, they just can’t do it on their own. One of the most powerful tools in our caring toolbox is to learn to identify the needs that cannot be expressed. Then, help the elder express that need or care for that need accordingly. Mr. Brown wasn’t an aggressive person, he was simply frustrated at the unfairness of the horrible disease that is keeping him from his wife. He has a need for love and intimacy from his wife. He has a need to feel useful in caring for those around him. There are so many ways that we can improve the quality of life for those with dementia–if we only begin to understand.

Maslow pyramid and circles.png


About the Author: Amira T. Fahoum is the Director of Marketing and Director of Operations, Northwest Region for Compass Senior Living located in Eugene, Oregon. Her path to senior living started when she simply decided to be open to possibilities in life. Possibilities are what led her to what is now a career in serving elders and families. Possibilities also led her into the world of becoming a Certified Eden Associate, Certified Validation Worker, Levels I and II, and a licensed Assisted Living Administrator in Oregon. On her journey with Compass, she has found true reward in working with, and for, the people that care for others.

Teach us how to care! People getting older is not a crisis, it’s a blessing

At both poles of human life – caring for one another is what we do and that is part of our humanity.” Ira Brock Hospice care Physician

My mother cared for both of our grandparents in our home when I was a little girl.  I cared for my children as they were born, and my husband when he had open heart surgery.  I cared for my mother when she was transitioning from this life to the next.

Two of my daughters work full time in caring types of jobs, they have teenage sons, and their mother-in-laws are in their 90’s,  living independently, but needing assistance. Their lives are filled with caring for their teenagers,  tending to the needs of their mother-in-laws, and providing care to others in their work.  Their experience is no different from millions of families in the United States.

  • There are 5 million Americans over age 85, which is our country’s fastest-growing demographic. In 2035 that number will be 11.5 million.
  • Four (4) million of us will turn 65 this year.
  • One hundred years ago, 3% of the population was age 65 or older.   Today more than 14% are over 65, and by 2030 the number will be 20%.
  • We have more senior citizens in America today than we’ve had at any time in our history!

Despite these daunting numbers, Ai-Jen Poo, a thought leader, and social activist, in her 2016 book, “Age of Dignity, preparing for the elder boom in a changing America, outlines a roadmap for the opportunity to   become a more caring Nation.

This is an opportunity to strengthen our intergenerational and caregiving relationships.

  • Care is something we do.
  • Care is something we want.
  • Care is something we can improve.
  • But more than anything Care is the solution to the personal and economic challenges we face in this country.
  • Care doesn’t just heal or comfort people individually;  it really is going to save us all!

What seems like an immense challenge is actually an incredible opportunity to transform the three million direct care caregiving jobs to good sustainable jobs for the 21st century –  to jobs that each person takes pride in with joy in service.

  • It is also the opportunity to make sure that our work and family care policies reflect the needs of families.
  • It is an opportunity to make sure that our loved ones that took care of us actually have the choices they deserve – to live with dignity, giving each person the opportunity to continue to teach us how to care.
  • We have the opportunity to create solutions that uplift the future of us all.

“People getting older is not a crisis.  It is a blessing”  Ai-Jen Poo says. Watch this short 3-minute video, and it may inspire you to get her book and learn more, as I did.


 


About the Author: Jean Garboden is the Director of Education and Innovation at Compass Senior Living, located in Eugene Oregon. Jean is an Elder Advocate and Eden Alternative Educator with over 30 years’ experience in not-for-profit and for-profit health care organizations. She is honored to lead the mission and values culture development for Compass Senior Living. Jean lives in Las Vegas, Nevada where she enjoys the weather and volunteers with the Nevadans for the Common Good, advocating for caregivers and elders in southern Nevada.

World Elder Abuse Recognition Day 6/15/2017

“To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors.” ― Tia Walker

Watch the short video below, and share this with others.  Caring about one another is what makes us human!

The taboo topic of elder abuse has started to gain visibility across the world.  It remains one of the least investigated types of violence in national surveys, and one of the least addressed in national and international action plans.

The 2017 World Elder Abuse Recognition Day (WEAAD) theme will explore effective means of strengthening protections against financial and material exploitation and ending victimization around the world. Exploitation takes many forms.

  • In developed countries, the abuse often encompasses theft, forgery, misuse of property and power of attorney, as well as denying access to funds.
  • The overwhelming majority of financial exploitation in less developed countries includes accusations of witchcraft that are used to justify property grabbing, ejection from homes of and denial of family inheritance to widows.

Elder abuse is a ‘silent condition.’  Although there are many statistics stated, no one knows exactly how many of our nation’s elders are being exploited, neglected or abused.  Evidence suggests that much abuse is not reported because often the elder does not report or because the general public is not educated about the signs of elder abuse.

  • About 90 percent of perpetrators of elder abuse are family members, including spouses, adult children, partners and other relatives. The incidence of abuse is higher if the family member suffers from drug or alcohol abuse, have some type of mental illness, or feel burdened by the care of their loved ones.
  • Only about one out of every 14 incidents of elder abuse (including self-neglect) in domestic settings actually come to the attention of local or state authorities.
  • Significant financial exploitation occurs at a rate of about 41 out of every 1,000 individuals surveyed in the US. This was higher than the rates of neglect as well as physical, emotional, and sexual abuse.
  • Only one out of every 25 cases of financial exploitation are reported. These unreported incidents would increase the amount to 5 million victims of financial exploitation per year in the United States.

It is our responsibility to protect the precious lives of vulnerable elder adults in our communities.  If the elder lives in Senior Housing, those working there are mandated to report to the state authorities, and/or the police.

Abuse comes in many forms:

  • Physical: causing physical pain or injury
  • Emotional: verbal assaults, threats of abuse, harassment, and intimidation
  • Neglect: failure to provide necessities, including food, clothing, shelter, medical care or a safe environment
  • Confinement: restraining or isolating the person
  • Financial: the misuse or withholding of the person’s financial resources (money, property) to his or her disadvantage or the advantage of someone else
  • Sexual abuse: touching, fondling or any sexual activity when the person is unable to understand, unwilling to consent, threatened or physically forced
  • Willful deprivation: willfully denying the person medication, medical care, food, shelter or physical assistance, and thereby exposing the individual with Alzheimer’s to the risk of physical, mental or emotional harm
  • Self-neglect: Due to lack of insight and cognitive changes, a person with cognitive challenges may be unable to safely and adequately provide for day-to-day needs, and may be at risk for harm, falls, wandering and/or malnutrition.

Let us take care of the children,
for they have a long way to go.

Let us take care of the elders,
for they have come a long way.

Let us take care of the in-between,
for they are doing the work.

—African Prayer


About the Author: Jean Garboden is the Director of Education and Innovation at Compass Senior Living, located in Eugene Oregon. Jean is an Elder Advocate and Eden Alternative Educator with over 30 years’ experience in not-for-profit and for-profit health care organizations. She is honored to lead the mission and values culture development for Compass Senior Living. Jean lives in Las Vegas, Nevada where she enjoys the weather and volunteers with the Nevadans for the Common Good, advocating for caregivers and elders in southern Nevada.

Thanks Dad – my Elder Guide! (Father’s day June 18)

My father, Samuel Russell Harris,  died when I was 27 years old.  Even today I still miss him. He was an eternal optimist! We didn’t have much as a child, but my Dad always encouraged us to turn tough times into an adventure of learning and joy in even the smallest of trials.

I remember when we were getting close to payday and were deciding about what to prepare from our meager cupboards, he joked, “Let’s pick some dandelions, and have them for dinner, and then we can tell the story someday about how we survived on dandelion greens!”   Little did he know that today we would be buying dandelions at Whole Foods as a nutritious green food!

My dad was an advocate of the power of positive thinking.  When I was a little girl he began reading to me from Norman Vincent Peale’s book, The Power of Positive Thinking, first published in 1952, and also read to me from Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence people, written in 1936, and other writers of the era such as Napoleon Hill, Thoreau, and Hemingway.  Dad wrote poetry and kept a daily journal.  He told me,  growing up in the 1950’s and 1960’s, that no matter what society dictated as limitations, I could do good and make a difference in the world if my heart so desired.

My dad only had an 8th-grade education.  He had a traumatic brain injury at age 15 when hit by a car and in a coma for 4 months.  Despite his hard start in life, my dad was one of the smartest men I have ever known. When asked what he did for a living Dad laughed and responded, “I am a  jack of all trades.

To me, Dad was my elder-guide.  He was self-educated, a poet, a philosopher, a dreamer, and an adventurer.  I am grateful that, as my elder-guide, he prepared me to approach life’s ups and downs with hope and inspiration. I am honored to be his daughter carrying his spirit of curiosity, optimism, and adventure on my life journey too.

I recognize that a father is not always defined by their genetic association with a child.  I respect and appreciate others who have stepped up to be  role models,  elder guides, and an inspiration for so many.

You may have an elder guide in your life, either male or female who has inspired you to be the best you can be!  Your elder guides shape who you are and encourage you to be greater than you thought you could be. Elderhood is so powerful with wisdom and guidance for us all.

Around the world, people are celebrating their fathers and father role models.   I found that more than 30 countries in the world are celebrating Father’s day On June 18th.  In Catholic Europe, it has been celebrated on March 19 (St. Joseph’s Day) since the Middle Ages. The Spanish and Portuguese brought this celebration to Latin America, where March 19 is often still the date,  though many countries in Europe and the Americas have adopted the U.S. date.

Below, see the dates in other countries in the world when fathers are honored!

  • Third Sunday in June: United States, Argentina, Aruba[,Canada, China, Costa Rica, France, Hong Kong, Hungary, India, Ireland, Japan, Kenya, Macau, Malaysia, Malta, Mexico, Netherlands, Pakistan, Peru, Philippines, Singapore, South Africa, Slovakia, Sri Lanka, Trinidad, Tobago, Turkey, United Kingdom, Ukraine, Venezuela.
  • February 23: Russia
  • March 19 (St. Joseph’s Day) – Croatia, Italy. Portugal, Spain,
  • May: 2nd Sunday – Romania
  • May 1: Israel
  • May 8: Korea
  • June 1st Sunday: Lithuania
  • June 2nd Sunday: Austria, Belgium
  • June 5 Denmark
  • June 23: Poland
  • June Last Sunday: Haiti
  • August 2: Brazil
  • August 8: Mongolia, Taiwan
  • September 1st Sunday: Australia
  • September 2nd Sunday: Latvia
  • November 1st Sunday – New Zealand
  • November 2nd : Sunday. Estonia, Finland, Sweden, Norway
  • November 12: Indonesia
  • November 2nd: Sunday. Estonia, Finland, Sweden, Norway
  • December 5: Thailand
  • 40th Day after Easter (Ascension day): Germany

“I always joke that my kids’ favorite holiday is Father’s Day. They love the way I celebrate the occasion by writing each of them a thank-you letter and a check. It’s my way of letting them know how much I appreciate the great pleasure and privilege of being their dad.” Wayne Dyer


About the Author: Jean Garboden is the Director of Education and Innovation at Compass Senior Living, located in Eugene Oregon. Jean is an Elder Advocate and Eden Alternative Educator with over 30 years’ experience in not-for-profit and for-profit health care organizations. She is honored to lead the mission and values culture development for Compass Senior Living. Jean lives in Las Vegas, Nevada where she enjoys the weather and volunteers with the Nevadans for the Common Good, advocating for caregivers and elders in southern Nevada.