Re-imaging our Care Work

There are only four kinds of people in the world

“There are only four kinds of people in the world. Those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need a caregiver.”

~Roslyn Carter

Although we care for others or are cared for by others at different levels throughout the arc of life; at both poles of life, we are more vulnerable and dependent upon care.

Dr. Bill Thomas, an international authority on geriatrics, talks of embracing elderhood as a transformational developmental stage of life. Just as early childhood is unique, with specific challenges, joys, and perspectives, so is adulthood, and so is elderhood. Entering elderhood extends a possibility to shift into a new way of being human.

At both poles of life care is amplified. At both poles of life, humans are whole and complete – both children and elders offer us unique insights, unparalleled wisdom, and an invitation to live a creative life; to notice what matters, and to live in the now.

Let’s reimagine our care practices. By looking at care at both poles of life and by placing care in the context of the self-actualizing journey of human development—we realize the purpose of our work in caring for another is to nurture growth.

Care is a partnership that moves the other towards becoming more. Care offers independence, not helplessness. Care offers strength, not weakness. Care offers a connection, not isolation.

Let us rescue care from the confines of the undervalued, unappreciated realms where it has hidden We can be blazing defenders of care. We can shine a light for the advancement of a great society. Let’s be a part of the care revolution!

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About the author 

Jean Garboden, Marketing and Innovation Leader for Compass Senior Living is  in her 70’s and is experiencing newfound joy in aging. She is working passionately to lift up care and to care for the caregivers. She is redefining elderhood. We are in the midst of re-imagining what it means to grow old. She has no plans to “hand over the torch” but is now claiming her role as a wise experienced leader who can now let her torch shine brighter and bolder than ever, while she lights the torch of others and exerts ongoing unique influence at the crescendo of her life. https://www.compass-living.com/ 

Human connection ~ at the core of everything that matters in the world

I  believe that trusting relationships are the most basic of human needs and the strongest foundation for caring for one another. Despite that belief, it’s easy to get caught up in a one-woman hamster wheel of working, consuming media, and just being busy with the many tasks on my to-do list.

I teach our care teams about the power of human connection through eye contact, touch, and conversation. I teach them that each person has a unique worth from birth through the end of life, as fully capable human beings.  I teach our leaders about the power of creating a culture of caring in a person-centered workplace in their responsibility to care for their care teams and families while becoming well-known to one another.    Yet, I acknowledge that I sometimes take human connection for granted; I forget its value and forget to nurture it.

This 15 minute Ted talk by Elizabeth Lesser “Say your truth, and seek them in others”  touched me, and I found new ways to strengthen authentic relationships in my life.    Lesser challenges us to “Be like a new kind of first responder… the one to take the first courageous step toward the other.”

Elizabeth Lesser starts her talk with the lessons she learned from being a midwife. “Everyone in this room is a former baby with a distinctive birthright,” she says, and we are all possessed of a “unique spark.”

In this busy holiday season, I invite you to take 15 minutes to reflect on the relationships in your life.  Authentic, genuinely caring relationships are at the core of everything that matters in the world.  What greater gift can we give to another than the gift of ourselves?

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About the Author: Jean Garboden is the Director of Education and Innovation at Compass Senior Living, located in Eugene Oregon. Jean is an Elder Advocate and Eden Alternative Educator with over 30 years’ experience in not-for-profit and for-profit health care organizations. She is honored to lead the mission and values culture development for Compass Senior Living. Jean lives in Las Vegas, Nevada where she enjoys the weather and volunteers with the Nevadans for the Common Good, advocating for caregivers and elders in southern Nevada

“You have dropped down from heaven to be here with me!”

“You are magic! You have dropped down from heaven to be here with me.” Those are the words I heard from an elder with Alzheimer’s a few weeks ago. I shared with my care team earlier in the day that I am doing aromatherapy research. We sampled a few essential oils on cotton balls during a short morning stand up  meeting. Later a care team member came to me and asked to experiment with the oils to see if we could relieve agitation for a woman she was caring for. As I approached the elder, and asked permission to put a drop of lavender oil on a cotton ball to put in her pocket, she said those amazing words, “You are magic!”  We held hands and talked for a few minutes….. that made my day!

When I do dementia training in a community, I usually do a full day of classroom instruction teaching an empathetic communication approach that is person-centered and elder-directed.  For several days after the classroom training I live in the community, doing hands-on coaching and role modeling the methods. I am present on all 3 shifts, and I learn so much from the elders and the care teams.  This is a reciprocal learning laboratory, with real life situations.

What warmed my heart that day was that the care team members were fully engaged as investigators, and solution finders.  They had learned about the basic human needs as defined by Maslow, and how to identify unmet needs.  They understood the power of touch, and being present.  They had learned how  to utilize empathetic speech, touch, and approaches. They were using the tools and tips that they had learned on that first day; recognizing that they had the ability to do critical thinking to determine  ways to support and guide  elders who are trying to find their way in a confusing world.

This work can be empowering to care team members!

• To  have the opportunity to be instrumental in calming the unknown fears of an elder.
• To make a truly amazing connection with a 90 year old who feels alone.
• To recognize that the very nature of caregiving rituals: washing others, holding others, feeding others and dressing others – is intimate and sacred work that brings with it gifts of dignity, respect, intelligence, and kindness.
• To be so in touch with another person, that you are seen as a miracle – as a gift from heaven!

Today, I got an email from one of our communities with a note from a family, that said in part:

“Our prayers were answered! Your staff made our mother feel comfortable and loved from the moment she moved in.  As her family we felt included throughout her stay. Thank you is not enough to express how appreciative we are to all of you for making her last months of her 89 years the easiest it could be as she transitioned to her heavenly home!  Forever Grateful, the family. P.S. Keep making a difference for people who need you.”

This is good work, hard work, rewarding work.   The world needs caregivers  and leaders who are enthusiastically supporting  families and elders and one another at the crescendo of an elder’s life as they prepare for their next great adventure.  In our communities, we  are guided by goodness, loyalty, faith, and fun.    It is also important that we are guided by love for one another and for the work we are all called to do.

Love, Love, Love – All you need is Love – All you need is Love, Love. Love is all you need!

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About the Author:    Jean Garboden is the Director of Education and Innovation at Compass Senior Living, located in Eugene Oregon. Jean is an Elder Advocate and Eden
Alternative Educator with over 30 years’ experience in not-for-profit and for profit health care organizations. She is honored to lead the mission and values culture development for Compass Senior Living.