Giving – perspective of a wise elder


We give, don’t we, for all kinds of reasons.

The doorbell rings or we are stopped at the grocery store and we make a token gift because we find it less embarrassing than saying “no.” And we don’t miss it.

Appeals for donations flood our mailbox weekly, if not daily, and we put them aside until, on impulse, we chose one or two and send a check fearful that by so doing our name will appear on some other mailing list, and we will learn of some other life-threatening cause. And life goes on.

As Christmas approaches, we check our card list to be sure that we don’t omit anyone who sent to us last year, or as we plan a small gathering we fit in the “Smiths” because we “owe them a favor.” And the world understands.

Once in a while, we are moved by the look in the eye of a starving boy in Somalia or the sobs of an elderly woman whose home has been destroyed by a hurricane and we feel uncomfortable in our comfort and want to lift their burden just a bit. And the world draws closer.

Occasionally, there emerges a desire to do something for someone for no reason except that we care: an anniversary or birthday, flowers to a friend, a computer for our daughter, a special surprise gift chosen with care for your spouse. And the world smiles.

Perhaps we give ourselves gifts, too, from time to time. Rewarding ourselves with chocolates or a steak dinner. And we feel we deserved it. And the world nods its head in approval.

But from time to time, we want to do something really significant. In our church or in our community: a new hospital or an addition and we stretch ourselves and give a bit more generously than usual and maybe then, we really are convinced that it is necessary and we celebrate the results. And the world is better for it.

Sometimes, we give until we can feel the impact on our own lives. A major purchase must be delayed or trip postponed, or the whole budget is pinched in order to tithe. And the world, if it knows and it seldom does, does not understand for it can relate to obligations and tit for tat and visible rewards but it does not comprehend the deep need each of us has to give. It makes us human.

Close to home

I am grateful. That, in itself, is a good reason to give. I am grateful that my dad taught me there are many good reasons to give: someone is hurting, seeing a child sitting in the wreckage of a hurricane, or a need just wells up within us and we want to respond. My dad taught me the fun of giving. Is fun the right word? Maybe it is joy, satisfaction, or even guilt. I think fun feels best.

When I was about 10. My dad said, “I think it’s about time you thought about giving regularly to the church.” I had a paper route making about $6 per month. A nickel a week sounded good to me. Then he talked about tithing. Ten percent! Sixty cents a month! That was a weekly movie! Or six ice-cream free milkshakes! But it made me feel like an adult.

I have never looked back.

At this season, especially, we are offered a myriad of opportunities to give. Some will be scams, so be careful, but most will be valid needs bringing health, wholeness, and hope.

There is one relevant to where we live. How do we recognize those who serve at our table, clean our rooms, fix our plumbing, and watch our safety? We need to put that in perspective. We are not encouraged to tip. But in our combined gifts we can recognize and thank those who enrich daily.

About the author:  Dick Smith, Minister, and Community Leader

20161216_130223Dick and Harriet Smith have been part of the Florence, Oregon community for the past thirty years and live at  Shorewood Senior Living. Dick has been involved in countless projects, businesses, and groups.

His mother taught him that if you have leadership ability it will be discovered. There is no need to push yourself into it or brag about yourself. Dick believes there is no limit to the amount of good you can do if you don’t care who gets the credit.

Mr. Smith attended Yale University where he met his wife. They were both attending the Divinity school there. He is a retired Presbyterian minister and has been married to his sweetheart for 67 years. They say, “Life is good basically – we both agree on that.”

In 1992 Dick was nominated for the First Citizen award for Florence in recognition for his work and contribution to the many groups and businesses.


So much to Give! Elders giving, loving, living – and thriving

Think volunteering’s just a nice thing you do for others? Think again. A growing body of research has pointed to the social, emotional, and even physical health benefits of volunteering.

Now a recent study, published in the journal The Gerontologist, zeroes in on the particular benefits volunteering offers older adults, and reveals how we can remove the three plagues of loneliness, helplessness, and boredom by providing a sense of purpose for those elders living at home or in a senior housing community.

We are working with elders who are looking at life in a new way as they grow older.  It is an intentional practice that involves harvesting the wisdom of their lives, and  finding ways to transmit that wisdom as a legacy to future generations, and giving back through service.

See the short video below produced by the residents and care team at Sundial Assisted Living in Redding California.  The elders and the care team are disrupting society’s concept of aging, and are making a difference in the city of Redding,  and in the world!   The care team is inspired and motivated to service by the example and wisdom of the elders they serve.

We are grateful for their example and their service!  This holiday season and every day is an opportunity to spread kindness in a spirit of goodness and love.  It is amazing how giving can really make YOUR day!

About the author:

11062337_10206528118188840_645394201235573404_nJean Garboden is the Director of Education and Innovation at Compass Senior Living, in Eugene Oregon.  She is an Eden Alternative Educator, and Elder Advocate.  Jean is dedicated to supporting the care teams and the elders to grow, learn, and be the best they can be in this  celebration of elderhood. It is a journey where reciprocal care and teaching can allow close relationships, joy, and passion into the workplace and into the lives of elders and their families.  Elders have much to teach us, and  and we are open to learn and grow alongside them.