Are we ever too old to play?

“Children have a full-time occupation. It’s called PLAY! Let them be occupied by it from their early years and into their twilight years.”  Vince Gowmon

It is widely accepted that Life Enrichment activities bring vigor and life to senior living, but, nonetheless, you may be surprised to learn what has been the most popular and well-received activity I have led over the years.

As Life Enrichment Directors we are taught that activities should be “age appropriate,” but exactly what does that mean?

Throughout my forty-four-year career in senior care, I have witnessed older people transformed through laughter and play. Of course, individual cognition must be considered, but overall most residents, regardless of cognitive abilities, respond in a positive manner to childhood games.  

Games, songs, and rhymes from our youth generally hold a special place in our memories.

Many of us can easily recall the words to a nursery rhyme but forget what we had for dinner the day before. I have found that most adults find comfort and pleasure when reminiscing about their childhood and the games they played.

I believe we all have an inner child that requires nurturing from time to time, and we must let that child play without judgment. The game doesn’t matter if it brings engagement, laughter, camaraderie and happy thoughts. I experience all these things myself right alongside residents as we play the most popular game.

I was hesitant to introduce this active game for fear of it being considered too childish for independent living residents. I purchased one large beach ball and decided to give it a try after we completed our balance class. Little did I know that it would grow into a twice-weekly occurrence and that I would need to purchase an additional ball to add to the excitement.

So, what is this most popular of games? Kickball!

Yes, kickball, the timeless playground favorite.

In our version, we deploy two large balls into a circle of residents who then hit, kick, punch, and bounce them back and forth. I play along and am able to see the years wash away revealing a room full of happy, laughing inner children. People are moving and stretching and having such a good time that the game’s energy carries on long after we finish. Players often recount their kickball exploits in the dining room and share another laugh with each other.

Since beginning this activity, our group has grown, and we now welcome between twelve and sixteen people each session. Residents have embraced kickball and I am so glad I decided to give it a try and let them judge its age appropriateness.

How about you?  Laugh.  Play. Embrace your inner child.

Leo Buscaglia figured it out when he said, “I am often accused of being childish. I prefer to interpret that as child-like. I still get wildly enthusiastic about little things. I tend to exaggerate and fantasize and embellish. I still listen to instinctual urges. I play with the leaves. I skip down the street and run against the wind. I never water my garden without soaking myself. It has been after such times of joy that I have achieved my greatest creativity and produced my best work.” 

Vanessa Uhrig, Life Enrichment Director

About the Author: Vanessa is a “farm girl”,  who was born and raised in Canby, Oregon, and now working at Shorewood Senior Living in Florence, Oregon.  She had a strong bond with her grandparents who taught strong work ethics, morals and the value of honesty. They provided her with love and respect for her elders from an early age. Her grandmother encouraged her artistic and creative side resulting in a passion for cooking, painting, quilt making, crocheting, drawing, crafts of all kinds and a closet full of “bits and bobs” that will be used someday. Prior to coming to Shorewood, Vanessa was a cook at an assisted living community. Vanessa lives in Florence Oregon and is enjoying everything it has to offer. 

Vanessa loves nature and all animals. She currently has two dogs and four cats, all rescued from the humane society. Vanessa is the proud mom of one daughter, Emily, who is, not only her best friend but also a scientist with a Ph.D. in Zoology. When she isn’t at work, Vanessa can be found busy outside in the flower beds or making something crafty. She is happy to be at Shorewood to share laughter, build friendships, and make a difference in the lives of the residents.

A Saga of the newer shoes – An Elder perspective

Harriet’s gym shoes began to disintegrate at exercise on Friday.  Small chunks just fell on the floor.  Friends recognized what happened before we did and handed some of the scraps to us, with comments about the age of the shoes. . . and us.  Well, we had two days to replace the shoes, before the next class.  Harriet really didn’t want to shop, but reluctantly agreed.

What a hassle for me, a man trying to find shoes for a woman, in a store with no help in sight.  If one considers size, style, brands, color, and price, there were overwhelming options. A friendly customer helped me because I couldn’t read the details on the boxes.  I picked out one that I thought might work.  Without a shoehorn, it took all my best effort to get it on her foot.  I was exhausted.

I searched further.  Same results.  I finally walked to the cashier and asked if someone could help.  A woman introduced herself and said the “shoe person” was out to lunch, but she would try.  That took another twenty unproductive minutes before the “shoe person” finally arrived.

Harriet was not at her best.  Her answers were “I don’t know” or “it doesn’t make any difference to me”.  About an hour later, she agreed to go with a pair: Black, Size 8.5, New Balance brand, Medium width, “Training” shoes.  Whew!

When we reached the cashier, she informed us that in the box were two shoes for the right foot.

The moral of the story:  If at 95, you want to buy new shoes for your wife, aged 96, you need a well-tempered sense of humor.  

(We returned them.  A pair of veteran SAS shoes has been drafted.  They just may last as long as we do)

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About the author:  Richard Smith, Minister, and Community Leader

Richard and Harriet Smith have been part of the Florence, Oregon community for the past thirty years and live at  Shorewood Senior Living. Mr. Smith has been involved in countless projects, businesses, and groups.

His mother taught him that if you have leadership ability it will be discovered. There is no need to push yourself into it or brag about yourself. Mr. Smith believes there is no limit to the amount of good you can do if you don’t care who gets the credit.

Mr. Smith attended Yale University where he met his wife. They were both attending the Divinity school there. He is a retired Presbyterian minister and has been married to his sweetheart for 68 years. They say, “Life is good basically – we both agree on that.”

In 1992 Mr. Smith was nominated for the First Citizen award for Florence in recognition for his work and contribution to the many groups and businesses.

 

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If you are an elder adult or know an elder adult who has a story to share, please contact Jean Garboden at jgarboden@compass-living.com, or at 503-851-8668.  The voices of the elder generation can make us laugh, inspire us, and inform us!  We want (and we need) to hear from you!

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Giving – perspective of a wise elder

 

We give, don’t we, for all kinds of reasons.

The doorbell rings or we are stopped at the grocery store and we make a token gift because we find it less embarrassing than saying “no.” And we don’t miss it.

Appeals for donations flood our mailbox weekly, if not daily, and we put them aside until, on impulse, we chose one or two and send a check fearful that by so doing our name will appear on some other mailing list, and we will learn of some other life-threatening cause. And life goes on.

As Christmas approaches, we check our card list to be sure that we don’t omit anyone who sent to us last year, or as we plan a small gathering we fit in the “Smiths” because we “owe them a favor.” And the world understands.

Once in a while, we are moved by the look in the eye of a starving boy in Somalia or the sobs of an elderly woman whose home has been destroyed by a hurricane and we feel uncomfortable in our comfort and want to lift their burden just a bit. And the world draws closer.

Occasionally, there emerges a desire to do something for someone for no reason except that we care: an anniversary or birthday, flowers to a friend, a computer for our daughter, a special surprise gift chosen with care for your spouse. And the world smiles.

Perhaps we give ourselves gifts, too, from time to time. Rewarding ourselves with chocolates or a steak dinner. And we feel we deserved it. And the world nods its head in approval.

But from time to time, we want to do something really significant. In our church or in our community: a new hospital or an addition and we stretch ourselves and give a bit more generously than usual and maybe then, we really are convinced that it is necessary and we celebrate the results. And the world is better for it.

Sometimes, we give until we can feel the impact on our own lives. A major purchase must be delayed or trip postponed, or the whole budget is pinched in order to tithe. And the world, if it knows and it seldom does, does not understand for it can relate to obligations and tit for tat and visible rewards but it does not comprehend the deep need each of us has to give. It makes us human.

Close to home

I am grateful. That, in itself, is a good reason to give. I am grateful that my dad taught me there are many good reasons to give: someone is hurting, seeing a child sitting in the wreckage of a hurricane, or a need just wells up within us and we want to respond. My dad taught me the fun of giving. Is fun the right word? Maybe it is joy, satisfaction, or even guilt. I think fun feels best.

When I was about 10. My dad said, “I think it’s about time you thought about giving regularly to the church.” I had a paper route making about $6 per month. A nickel a week sounded good to me. Then he talked about tithing. Ten percent! Sixty cents a month! That was a weekly movie! Or six ice-cream free milkshakes! But it made me feel like an adult.

I have never looked back.

At this season, especially, we are offered a myriad of opportunities to give. Some will be scams, so be careful, but most will be valid needs bringing health, wholeness, and hope.

There is one relevant to where we live. How do we recognize those who serve at our table, clean our rooms, fix our plumbing, and watch our safety? We need to put that in perspective. We are not encouraged to tip. But in our combined gifts we can recognize and thank those who enrich daily.

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About the author:  Dick Smith, Minister, and Community Leader

Dick and Harriet Smith have been part of the Florence, Oregon community for the past thirty years and live at  Shorewood Senior Living. Dick has been involved in countless projects, businesses, and groups.

His mother taught him that if you have leadership ability it will be discovered. There is no need to push yourself into it or brag about yourself. Dick believes there is no limit to the amount of good you can do if you don’t care who gets the credit.

Mr. Smith attended Yale University where he met his wife. They were both attending the Divinity school there. He is a retired Presbyterian minister and has been married to his sweetheart for 67 years. They say, “Life is good basically – we both agree on that.”

In 1992 Dick was nominated for the First Citizen award for Florence in recognition for his work and contribution to the many groups and businesses.

 

What are old people for?

“What are old people for?”

In 2004, a physician named Dr. Bill Thomas asked that question in a best selling book “What are old people for? How Elders will save the world”   Dr. Thomas and his merry band of age disrupters were recently in the Pacific Northwest promoting their Disrupt Aging event.  The stop in Eugene, Oregon was their 110th show.

I am convinced!  Elders will save the world!

It was a  first-of-its-kind event! This immersive and transformational non-fiction theater wove film, music and first-person stories with groundbreaking research. We were challenged to re-frame aging. Dr. Bill asks “What if?” What if everything we knew about aging was wrong?

We invited 88-year-old Mary, who lives at Shorewood Senior Living in Florence Oregon to come to the event that began with a lunch with Dr. Thomas sponsored by AARP. The lunch group was small, giving us quality time with Dr. Thomas asking questions and sharing our passion for being part of a movement to disrupt aging in America.  Mary had learned about Dr. Thomas a few years ago when her husband read about how forward thinking Dr. Thomas was as a world renowned Geriatrician. She was thrilled to meet him in person, as her husband had passed away just 8 months ago at the age of 92.  As Dr. Thomas put his arms around Mary she told him,  “My husband is here looking down on us right now.”  Mary and her husband had embraced a vibrant elderhood together.

We asked Mary to share her experience with us.  She was thrilled to spend this time with Dr. Thomas, and he was honored that she blessed him with her presence!

Mary meets Dr. Thomas.

“When I  was asked if I would be interested in attending a program called Changing Aging by Dr. Bill Thomas in Eugene, Oregon on May 5th, I had heard about the doctor and his specialty in geriatrics. Dr. Thomas was on his “Changing Aging” tour across America.

My first thought was to turn down the offer to attend because it would require sitting in a car for almost an hour to reach Eugene, Oregon and being an elderly woman in my 88th year, the thought of my stiffening body getting out of a car after an hour was not particularly appealing for the start of a long day in town.

My curiosity overcame my thoughts of wondering if I could tolerate the long day ahead knowing that we wouldn’t get back to Florence until almost ten at night.

I am happy to say that the day was a wonderful experience reinforcing what thoughts I had about my aging process. Thinking about all the clichés one could think of, Dr. Thomas fulfilled all of them—“ hit the nail on the head” and others.

He did it with lovely entertainment—stories and wonderful music along with fabulous electronics, the latter, no doubt, standard equipment of this era to the younger generation. As I got into the car to return home, I realized that I wasn’t as tired as I expected to be, I hadn’t thought much about my frailties. I had done something different this day. I had started to do what Dr. Thomas’ program was all about. I was disrupting aging!”

Dr. Thomas is taking his tour to the East Coast in June.  Check out his schedule.

It is truly an amazing social experiment and we were honored to be a part of it!  See the short video below.

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About the Author: Jean Garboden is the Director of Education and Innovation at Compass Senior Living, located in Eugene Oregon. Jean is an Elder Advocate and Eden Alternative Educator with over 30 years’ experience in not-for-profit and for-profit health care organizations. She is honored to lead the mission and values culture development for Compass Senior Living. Jean lives in Las Vegas, Nevada where she enjoys the weather and volunteers with the Nevadans for the Common Good, advocating for caregivers and elders in southern Nevada.

My Shrinking World

My world just shrank! Like trying to get into a newly laundered pair of cheap jeans, I don’t quite fit.

Unlike shrinking pants, it’s more subtle. The losses are incremental and to a degree, intentional. At least I was consciously aware of what was happening. It went under the title of “downsizing,” generally lauded.

Treasures, many symbolic of significant happenings that helped mold who I am. Pictures of people “loved long since and lost awhile.” Dreams and failures, recognitions and disappointments, the good and the bad. Tossed, but hard to forget. It is a lesser person that fits into the newly acquired smaller space.

And the smaller space continues to make me a smaller person. There is less opportunity to grow through new contacts. I am tempted to get my haircuts at the in-house barber shop. I get my mail delivered which is easier, but less stimulating than going to the Post Office. It is more convenient and cheaper to eat in the dining room than go out for dinner.

Attending cultural events probably involves a trip in the rain and in the dark. My old friend, the public library, takes some effort and books will be delivered if I plan ahead. I miss my daily visits to Safeway, which randomly kept me in touch with the community of Florence. Friends drift away unacknowledged.

Our move to Shorewood Senior Living dramatizes our shrinking world. Everything is smaller and everyone is closer. I am not used to eating breakfast with a bunch of old people.

I must accept the fact that there are some things I cannot do, some things that I don’t need to do and some things I shouldn’t do. But it’s all right! I don’t determine my menu. But that’s all right! I associate with persons not of my own choosing. But that is okay.

Harriet and I do try to keep active, but it takes effort and energy and those, like space, are dwindling qualities and quantities. A nap is not sensitive to such promptings.

It is not just space that is disappearing; it’s control. In any case, at ninety-three, part of the solution is adjusting to aging and realizing that it is all right.

Not all residents share my feeling. For some Shorewood has brought a new sense of security and freedom that is reassuring to them and hopeful to me.

A generation ago, The British Broadcasting Company aired a comedy “Waiting for God”. Set in a retirement community, it portrayed two people who resisted being warehoused in that vacuum between living and dying. The program came to mind when we became part of Shorewood. We are a decreasing factor in the world’s equation. And that’s okay, if we are satisfied being human. That that is needful at any age.

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About the author:  Dick Smith, Minister and Community Leader

Dick and Harriet Smith have been part of the Florence, Oregon community for the past thirty years and recently moved to Shorewood Senior Living in August of this year. Dick has been involved in countless projects, businesses, and groups.

His mother taught him that if you have leadership ability it will be discovered. There is no need to push yourself into it or brag about yourself. Dick believes there is no limit to the amount of good you can do if you don’t care who gets the credit.

Mr. Smith attended Yale University where he met his wife. They were both attending the Divinity school there. He is a retired Presbyterian minister and has been married to his sweetheart for 67 years. They say, “Life is good basically – we both agree on that.”

In 1992 Dick was nominated for the First Citizen award for Florence in recognition for his work and contribution to the many groups and businesses.

When asked for words of wisdom he said “I think the most important thing a person can learn is to give – of themselves and their resources. It brings more satisfaction and joy to a person.”